[waiting] i.wanna.be.the.one.to.hold.you.

2005-02-01T21:32:00.000+08:00

the first two days of the week just breezed past me man. i wonder how i actually managed to get past monday and tuesday without complaining.. actually.. i know why la. but i shan't say it. cause i don't want the whole world to know what actually happened during the two (happiest??) days of my life. ok anyways. shall update about monday and today.

monday ; first two periods were science. ugh. like. science sucks la. i reached school quite early la. was really excited bout the whole ms-champs-and-giving-of-present thingy. haha. chens got to school a little later than me. but we started walking to st mich’s at.. around.. 7.10 bahs. haha. then we waited there like idiots cause it was damn early lorr! at.. like.. 7.20.. ms champs came down.. then we passed her the presents la. it was damn funny man. we were like shoving the presents towards ms champs and we were like saying "happy belated teachers’ day..!!" [unfortunately the only person you could hear saying that was val. she was practically screaming la. ((:] then she was like damn surprised.. and was like "oh okok.. thankyou thankyou.." haha. you should've seen the reaction on her face man. sho hilarious. *grins*

after science we had ep. gawd. that mrs lee damn funny la.! her entire solar heater dropped from the third storey of her house to her backyard on sunday!!!! ahahaha. i was like laughing and laughing.. and she was like "this is no laughing matter k." haha. err.. after recess was.. BORING. haha. i think i was pissing audrey and isabelle off.. cause all through lessons i was like "omg.. i feel like i’m doing smth wrong.. missing someone though i’m not supposed to.." which is SHO true ok. anyways. shan't elaborate on that la. (x

assembly was.. these two dancers.. they dance until damn stupid la.! i think they weren't aware that they were making a fool out of themselves. haha. then i went chens house ferr lunch. after that she came over to my house ferr awhile. but we were only in the house ferr awhile then her bro came knocking on the door!! argh!! I had fun though. heh.

today ; had chinese in the morning!!!! i hate chinese ok! and lao shi's sho boring la! man. then had maths test. *bleahs* i think i fail liao le. it was freaking hard la! somemore i couldn't concentrate cause i was damn sleepy.. slept really late last night. cause i stayed up talking to.. err.. [someone]. haha. then had lit. me and isabelle were talking and talking.. then audrey chye was like "shalene and friend! stop talking!" and me and isabelle were laughing.. ferr some reason. haha. after lit was history.. mrs siow ish a nice teacher la. seriously. she's sho much better than bernard chan can. haha.

after recess was three periods with tay yit ming lorr! 2 periods science 1 period pc.. and not surprisingly.. she used our pc period ferr science again. GOSH! wait. what was that period after science again?? err.. ah.. double period english. Mrs stephens was sho funny today la. ok wait. i forgot why. owells. whatever la. i just remembered we laughed a lot. haha. ferr the last period of english we went to the comp lab to do research. me and chens were the only people right at the back of the lab.. and we were having sho much fun la!!! we were talking bout stuff related to english.. but we made the research time much more interesting. we were fooling around.. then when mrs stephens come, we will bluff bluff act guai.. haha. sho funny.

chens came over, and she just played with my hamster ferr awhile before we headed back to her house. ate, and talked a lot.. haha. and we were having sho much fun then we almost choked on our food! i was messaging [someone] at the same time.. and we were laughing bout the "shampoo bottle" joke.!!! sho funny!!! haha. ok i hope [he] doesn't read this man. haha. had lotsa fun today la. CHENS ROCKS MY WORLD!!!!! (((((:

i’m still missing [him].. ilove[him]! xPP

there's dnt tmr! and trng too.! can’t wait. *smiles*

*[--peaceoutt!

2005-01-29T17:42:00.000+08:00

*endless road [sung by jj lin] [the english version of "hai pa"]

The truth is tearing up my heart.. I can`t recognize this endless road without a stop sign. can`t even find a stranger this time.. why am I still holding back my tears? in this loneliness there`s nothing to fear. every chord still seems a wonder, how we could be together.. everytime I ask if this would be the last.. why am I still talking to myself? hoping you will have the keys to my cell.. every song might calm the weather, but it just draws me deeper. how do I get out of this? I think I never will.. a crystal forming in the eye.. maybe this would be the last. the winding path down my face till I begin to taste the bitterness..

2005-01-29T16:48:00.000+08:00

--happiness

ah.. i've been feeling happy lately.! let's see why.

i passed my grading..!!!!!!! gawd. so surprising huh? haha. i'm happy happy happy! haha. had tkd yesterday. OMG. JIMMY WAS SO FREAKAYE. he refused to tell muii my results!! he was like,"tell the class what you'll do if you pass.." and "what will you do if you fail?" i waslike superrrr nervous. and scared. and i was colddddddd!!! gosh. after like 438682 years, he finally told me my results. and i passed!!! haha. ahem. SO. don't mess with me, all of you out there. haha. kidding la. so after trng.. i hadta go see jimmy la. so we were like all queuing up, then ellen cut the queue! so funny la, she. she was like,"huh.. must queue up ah?" and i was like "DUH!" haha. she gorrt double can??!! unfair!!!! haha. but i'm happy ferr her la. *smiles* CONGRATS ELLEN.! xP anyhoos. we were talking bout.. AHEM while queuing up. and i won't name who cus i'm nice. haha. we were like "WE HATE HIM!" we really do okay. hahaha. right.. then.. back home.. i was liike smsing jimmy.. he damn funny la.! haha. we were talking bout.. uhh.. some stuff. yeahs. oh oh! and did i mentionn?? hisyam's brother damn cuuute la!!!!!!!!! (((((x

school. dnt rocks!!!!! haha. so fun so fun. ilovednt! it's really funnnn. really. seriously. no lies. haha. okok. enough bout dnt. we shall talk bout mr chia then.! ((: ilovemrchia! gawd. he so cute can. so tall.. and strong.. and gorgeous.. *sighs* haha. like. everyone's sick of me talking bout mr chia! however. he's still cute! to me la. and. he looks so much cuter when he's playing da drumsss! (((((((((((((: oh. and i STRESS that i only think he's CUTE. only. so don't THINK. don't think i can't read all of yerr minds mind ok. i have `supernatural powers. haha.

HER. omg. i did smth so unexpected can. i smsed her! like. omgomgomgomg. anyways. i only smsed her. i didn't say i was ready to forgive her. hahaha. i'm contradicting myself. owells. whatever.

--*i l o v e [ y o u ] .//

2005-01-21T17:44:00.000+08:00

i changed my blogskin! whoohootoots! *grins*

2005-01-18T20:53:00.000+08:00

did i already mention?? we won the tiger cup..!!!! yes we did!!!! haha. and guess who's the MVP??? LIONEL LEWIS!!!!! ahahaha. gawd. ILOVEHIM! he rocks can?!!!! he's damn good!!! and cuute!!!! haha. anyhows.

i have maths detention tmr! just cus i didn't know how to answer what's simple interest! in less than a minute! like, who can think THAT fast man. really. maths is SHO freaked. i was damn pissed.. and damn upset.. cus ms chong just keeps picking on muie!!!! sho.. i cried. like really seriously CRIED. gawd. amanda was damn nice.. offering muie tissue and consoling muie.. whereas isabelle was just.. "eh sha.. don't cry already la.." haha. sho lame la she. anyways. i felt like an idiot, crying just cus i hadta stay back fer maths detention. nooo.. actually i cried cus she won't stop picking on meeee!!! aiie. was pretty upset. maybe.. maybe i cried nortt only cus of that.. cus there really were a lot of thoughts going through my mind.. and when she called me, my mind just went BLANK. sheesh. and.. like.. there's trng tmr??!! damn. i wanna go fer trng lorx! hate maths. it's sho freaked..!!! )):

2005-01-17T21:51:00.000+08:00

hmmmx. yday had grading. gawd. sho freaky sia. i saw [you]!! but it was pretty weird. i kinda felt that [you] were avoiding muee. maybe [you] were la. don't know. and.. i saw yuen tuck.. corinne say he beri short.. and ugly.. nahx. nortt really lahx. average bahx. hahahs. anyways. me pattern do until weird weird de.. think i did smth wrong.. hahahs. whatever la. then.. SPARRING!! sheesh.. that was the worst.. that stupid girl.. go and kick me below belt.. she go and kick my shin lorx!! then the guard never cover that part.. sho pain!! and i was limping in school today.. hahahs. then second rd of sparring.. i spar with dia!! she sho farni. hahahs. shan't say whyee la. but she and joe were damn helpful lehx!! hahahs. i think i kick her quite hard. *oops* hahahs. hope i pass la!!!!! :

today in school.. quite boring la. hadta stay back for maths detention!! *grrr* just cus i did the freaking assignment wrongly..!! man. then teo peng suan was the "detention teacher".. and i was late cus i had late day.. sho i was the only person when i reached there.. i was sho scared teo peng suan will kill muee!! but she never. hahahs. she quite nice actually. (:

went home alone today. sho sian. today was damn boring. and i'm having freaking cramps. *bah* stomach damn pain la. dowan to go to school tmr la!! haiyahx.

2005-01-13T20:47:00.000+08:00

hmmmx. today had pe. then mrs nicks went to smack my butt. damn pain! oww.. *groans* just cus i was slacking ABIT. man. hahax. then.. english was quite boring lahx. didn't fall asleep though. WOW. what a big accomplishment fer me. hahax. oh yeahx. during recess.. isabelle and tessa went to play with their juniors.. then me, chens and val were just sitting there eating! hahax. anyways. we were lookingg at that adelinechow-plus-olinda lookalike sec1.. gosh. she's damn rough can. she play bbal with her friends.. like playingg with her enemy liddat. sho freaky niax. hahax. then she always solo. and when euu play with her, she'll do anything to win. and i mean, anything! like.. TOUCHING euu.. ugh. lolx. she thinkk she damn cool somemore. she go and gel her hair and highlight her hair.. but her belt sho freaking high! her socks also! ahahahax. sua gu lahx. yupx. then.. gortt art. chens helped me do. she draw damn nice lahx! hahax. sho kind. ilubher. (x mrs zailee thought is i draw myself one. whoohoo. hahax. after art.. history was boring also. but guess what?? i didn't fall asleep either!! *cheers* thinkk i'll fall asleep tmr though. DOUBLE PERIOD LIT. *bleahx* audrey chye sucks. hateher. hehx. rightx.. then.. double period chinese!! lao shi's damn idiot lahx. she can talkk bout something-other-than-chinese fer one whole period?? what the..?? hahax. oh oh! and i just realised money damn chio lehx! hahax. lao shi confirm se her de. we have a bian tai lao shi. hahax. 2/2 gortt alot of chio bu. hahax. yup yupx. then.. went home lorx. yeahx. nothing much le lahx. shall stop here. bubbayex. (:

2005-01-12T16:40:00.000+08:00

i thought 2005 was going to be a great year. but it sucks. 2004 was much better..! ahh.. the sweet memories. oh wells. we have to move on with life what.

i saw her again today. i thought i had gotten over her.. but have i?? haish. she looks sho happy now.. andd if she knows i like her, it'll be back to 2004 again. aiie. maybe i've been deceiving myself all this time. maybe i still have feelings for her. man. i sho hope that's nortt true man. haish. since i've decided to get over her andd move on with life, I WILL. nooo. I HAVE. yeahx. she's outta my life. for good.

to [you] :: i haven't given up on [you] this whole while. though i know we're impossible, i still try. [you]'re probably pretty upset now, but i hope [you]'d know.. whatever happens, i'm here. [you] might nortt wanna talkk to me, [you] might even hate me.. but i still love [you].

2005-01-10T21:55:00.000+08:00

me and lydia have become great friends! *grins* we share alot alot of secrets.. hahax. then we were like "boys nort allowedd to know.." which of cus refers to [you]!! hahax. we're like smsing eachh other everyday niax! hahax. andd she's damn farni!! yupx. she toldd me alot of stuff i didn't know.. so can say i've become "smarter" in a way bahx.. hahax. she's damn nice to talkk to!! hahax. andd she super chio lehx!! andd cuute too. *jealous* hahahax. yup yupx. tmr got history test!! sho scaredd. supposedd to look for notes to studyy online.. but don't feel like le.. hahax. thinkk i gonna fail. heck lahx. hahax. oh yeahx. finally finallyy i talkkedd to ms champs!! hahax. me andd chens were like "she damn chio now!!" hahax. andd her hair rocks lorx. yepx. *smiles*

2005-01-06T17:32:00.000+08:00

i'm bloggin usin my phone! (x
went to see the doc.. he told me my illness was caused mentally and not physically.. so. i guess it's cus of [you]. AIIE. )):

2005-01-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

etay yit ming sucks!!! she taught us some stupid science shit, but noone understood!! like, what theee..?? thinkk ms champs much better. 1/4'd better treasure her man. all of us like SO miss her!! she's a much much better teacher.. she damn good.. then during lesson can suan her somemore.. lol. those were the days! aiie. miss her so much. thinkk she's pissed at me. cos i didn't say hi to her when i was supposedd to! i feel soo mean. i shall say hi to her next time i see her. yeah.

talkedd to [you] and lydia.. [YOU] LIED TO ME! ))): actually.. it's better if lydia's [your] gf.. cos i know her.. and i know she's nice.. but i don't know who it is now! i'm really confusedd. aiie. but i can't stay mad at [you] fer long. damn. :X oh yeah. don't ask me to let go, when [you] know it's impossible..!! don't make it sound so easy when it's not! [you]'re not me aiights! try understanding my feelings?! i'm trying to lor! i'm trying very hard to let go of [you]! but i just can't! argh! life sucks.

2005-01-03T21:39:00.000+08:00

damn. i feel screwed. the first day of school was alright. got to meet new teachers and stuff. yeah. 2/1's form teacher SUCKS. anyhows. i read his blog. he FINALLY updated. but the post was kinda.. freakaye. i feel so mean. i know i shouldn't be doing this, but love IS selfish, ain't it?? you can't control your feelings, can you?? aiie. i don't know what to do. i didn't know he really likedd me THAT muchh. it kinda suprised me. oh wells. whatever. i'm in a dilemma.

to [you] :: i seriously don't know what i did to make [you] ignore my smses these few days, maybe it's cos [your] bill's bomb-ing. well, it's okay then. i just wanted to tell [you] that.. i really love [you].. and i know [you] really love her.. but i'll be waiting fer [you]. i dowan to be the third party or anything. so as long as [you]'re happy, i'm happy fer [you]. i hope [you] won't doubt my feelings fer [you]. i love [you].

i'm nothing without [you].. just a shadow passing through.

2004-12-24T15:52:00.000+08:00

hmmm. went out with [you] yday. but i was having and had mixed feelings. it was really weirdd. :/

met corinne at 12pm at somerset. then i was late. cos i left the house late. i overslept!! haha. oh and at the mrt station.. i helped this foreign couple!! they were asking me which ticket they should buy if they were staying here fer bout a week. so i sooo kind go and help them leh. heh. yup. then corinne was damn pissed cos i was late. oops. sorry babe! (x went to cine fer lunchh. she wanted to eat pastamania. so we went to eat. and talked bout loads of crap when we were eating. haha. like the cute waiter who served us our food! =p after lunchh, we walked and walked ard.. then we wanted to buy the tickets first. [you] wanted to watch x'mas with the kranks, but there wasn't an afternoon screening. so i called [you], and asked if we could watch kung fu hustle. it was the first time i talkedd to [you], and though it was really short, it was nice. (: I LOVE YOUR VOICE!! ((x bought the tickets, and we were pretty broke after that.

but we had enough monaye to go take neos! it was soo fun! hee. yep. and i kept asking corinne fer the time, till she got really pissed. haha. i was supposed to meet [you] at two, but [you] told me that [you] were gonna be late. *grr* so we walked somemore, till it was ard 215 liddat.

then we headed to somerset mrt to meet [you]. bout 3 mins later, [you] called and asked where we were. and once again, though the convo was short, it was nice. (: [you] came up, and these feelings just washed over me. i don't know what it was, but it just washed over me. but.. when i saw who [you] brought along, my heart just dropped to the floor. really. i was thinking, [you] couldn't have brought HER along right..?? i didn't say anything though. was just prettaye shockedd.

went backk to cine again fer the movie. the movie was hilarious! it was a great show. but somehow i just didn't quite enjoy it. :XX yeah. after the movie, we were like deciding where to go.. then we decided on heeren. reachedd there, but still didn't know what to do. she suggested going to far east, but [you] would be wayyy bored if we were to go there. besides, it was pretty far away. so we stood there fer a few more mins. then she wanted to go home. so i told [you] to send her home first. man. if [you] only knew how muchh it breaked my heart when i saidd that. aiie. )":

[you] said okay, and [y'all] left. corinne and i were supposed to just walkk walkk ard, but i had no mood to. so we decided to head backk home. in the mrt, i was thinkingg bout stuff. thinkingg bout the day. thinkingg bout [you]. smsed [you], but [you] didn't reply. i figured [you] were busy, so didn't wanna bother [you] more. while i was thinkingg, a huge lump rose in my throat. but i forced myself to hold backk my tears till i reached home.

when i finally got home, i just flopped on my bed and cried my lungs out. i was really upset.. and confused. at ard 715 i smsed [you] again. once again, [you] didn't reply. i was starting to feel worried.. so at 10 i smsed [you] again. finally [you] replied. so i decided to ask [you] if that girl was [your] gf. [you] didn't reply. at 12+ i smsed [you], [you] didn't reply again.

i haven't smsed [you] today, and i'm not sure if i should. maybe smth i did yday pissed [you] off..? haii. i don't know. guess i'll just let [you] decide. anyhows. i was happy that i got to see [you] yday, and i hope [you] like [your] present. i love [you].

[[__+//i'll stand by you--``]]

2004-12-15T11:10:00.000+08:00

went to see yet ANOTHER doctor yesterday. cos there's this lump at my cheek. the private doctor just touch a bit then gimme some antibiotics.. but the polyclinic doctor damn idiot! he's called norman koh btw. bahahaha. he go and press until damn pain lor!! like press super super hard.. then he thinkk not pain de. what theeeee..!!!! and he didn't even gimme ANY medicine. *rah* hate him. lol. i was messaging [you] at the same time. [you]'re damn funneh! crappy! bad! mean! haha. i'm naming all [your] bad points! heh. yup. but it kinda shortened my wait fer the doc?? yeahh. haha.

then went shopping!!! whoohoo!! hmmm let's see. i went to suntec. saw this prettaye skirt at Dorothy Perkins. black colour one. but it was 60over bucks. dammit. haha. then went to Topshop. bought a bag!! and a lollipop! haha. yep. after that went to Tower Records. bought wilber pan wei bo's cd!!!! wheehee! lol. ((: so happy. ate dinner at this restaurant. yummeh. then went hunting fer my discman. i saw the nike orange colour one!! it's soo niceee!! but quite ex. hee. i got budget de k. (x yeahh. in the end didn't buy, cos all too ex le. haha. oh yeahh. then we went to the adidas shop. i saw the new adidas bottle!!!! it's super niceeee!! 15bucks. i am SO gonna get it man. hahaha.

yup. going to hunt fer my discman again today..! can't wait! :pP

[[__*you are my everything`--/+]

2004-12-14T10:05:00.000+08:00

hmmm yesterday.. what happened yesterday.. *thinks hard* oh yeahh. talked to [you] online in the afternoon. [you]'re damn funneh can..?! lol. we were like just crapping ard sia. haha. then.. ermmm.. we talked bout stuff lor. like soccer!! whoohoo! we were talking bout the tiger cup matches. yup.

then at night i went out to eat. at the amk ntuc there i saw tjl leh!! walauu. freakaye. then i wanted to run away de. but she saw me! then she smiled at me. so i mian qiang smile back lor. lol. scaryyyy man. :///

at 1230midnight i watched the s/pore vs laos match!! but i already knew the score. cos [you] watched the live telecast on scv. and [you] were telling me which min they scored a goal and everything. lol. the own goal was damn stupid la!!! me and my sis were like "huh?! liddat also can ah?!?!" haha. and the score was 6-2!! s/pore won!! lionel lewis rocks ma world!!!! goh t c rocks ma world!!!! daniel bennett rocks ma world!!!! ((: my sis knows lionel lewis!!!! walau he rocks as a gk can. he can save the ball damn well! but thinkk it's partly cos of his height. he's 1.8smth leh!! hmmm but i don't know why goh t c rocks ma world too. haha. he's a bit goodlooking la. yep. but he plays well too, so yup. daniel bennett!!! former liverpool player!!! oh wait. was it liverpool?? k nehmind. former player from some ang moh team!!!! he's damn goodlooking lor!!! and there was this time where there was a free kick to s/pore. then the laos player don't know. so he go and pick up the ball. then when the referee said it was s/pore's ball, he go and snatch the ball from the laos guy and pushed him, then kicked the ball. walau so scary sia. haha. yup.

then [you] siao one leh. he go and wake up at 4am to watch the man u vs fulham match?!?! but in the end it was still a draw. *grrr*

yep. that was bout it. cheerios! (:

2004-12-13T11:32:00.000+08:00

MY WAFFLE IS OFFICIALLY CHAOTAH-ED!!!

arghh. i just put it in the oven fer, like, 10mins!!! stupid waffle. thinkk i hafta go buy another one. soon. xPP

oh wells. don't know what to blog bout. i shouldn't have bothered to blog. cos i really don't know what to blog bout. ~~[you] haven't been coming here.. well, at least, i thinkk so. cos [you] haven't been tagging. maybe cos [you]'ve been busy. but i'm still happy to be able to keep in touch with [you]. really.~~ yeahh so.. i'm gonna buy my books later. don't feel like getting out of the house. booooreeedddd. yup. oh yeahh. i watched part2 disc17 of mvp qing ren just now. it rocks! but it's damn sad. always cry when i watch one. duan chengfeng and xiaoxi is another couple i really admire. other than siti and jimmy. their story's really touching. it really gets me thinking bout loads of stuff. which makes me cry when watching. ayee. can't stand it.

~~*--i m i s s [ y o u ]--*~~

2004-12-12T15:08:00.000+08:00

i love jolin!!!

walau! she damn chio man! went for her concert yesterday. you should see her dance sia! ((x but duh. she takes yoga.. haha. anyways.

went for dinner with my parents before that. we went to some airport rd hawker centre. i ate fried oyster and char kway teow!! *yums* lol. the food there is like superrr yummeh. then met my cousin at the indoor stadium. it was damn funneh. cos we supposed to enter by the east entrance. so we hadta walk past the north entrance. then we were talking and laughing and talking and laughing. then suddenly i was like "omg this girl damn familiar!!" and guess what?!?! it was michelle yip! bahahaha. can't believe she'd go and watch. i was damn surprised. haha.

the concert started at 830. the first person to come out was SLY!!! yeahh!!! he sang one english song. then the rest were chinese songs. two were he compose himself one. the other one was "an jing". ((: he's sooo cuteeee!!! haha. after that, jolin came out!!!!! she's damn chio leh!! walauu. she sing superrr good also. but the stupid sound system got problem. keep on going making sounds. esp when she singing high that time. arghh. she sang a few old songs.. but most of it were new songs. yup.

at the end she sang "dao dai"!!!! whoohoo! love that song man. hmmm she also sang "ni hai ai wo ma", "you shi hou", "don't stop", "wo zhi dao ni hen nan guo", "ning meng cao de wei dao" and quite a number of new songs. yep. she damn goooood!!!! when she was singing "dao dai" she cried lor!! cos her s/pore concert is the last concert of her world tour. so sad!!! ))": towards the end everyone stood up cos it's like ending le mah.. the stupid ushers kept catching people for using their cameras. so me and my cousin hadta record the songs secretly. haha. i also took a lot of photos, budden they were very small. not clear one. ayee.

overall, i had FUNNNNN!!!!! whoohooo!! jolin rocks!!!! (((:

[[___*wo men dou mei cuo.. zhi shi bu shi he.`--^]]

2004-12-10T10:33:00.001+08:00

yesterday.. booringgg. lol. well, i talked to vanesa online. we kinda cleared our misunderstanding. yup. and i got to know her better. she's a nice girl, really. *smiles* then at ard 430, talked to siti and [you]. crappy asses la!! haha. was like laughing to my comp the whole time?! wahahaha. felt really stupid. budden again they were wayyy to funneh. lol. we spent like, just 1hr crapping ard! and they kept leaving me out of the convo!! *humphf* haha. budden i had fun.

then at night, i watched the s/pore vs indonesia match. walauuu i was damn pissed can..?? like s/pore had sooo many chances to score budden they didn't!!! arghh. watch until damn pissed le. i was like screaming at the tv.. lol. after, like, 60smth mins i gave up. i went to bed, fuming. haha. so till now i still don't know what's the score. anyone who knows the score please tell me yeahh?? =XX

what theeee *beep*!!!!! i was like sleeping soo soundly early in the morning, and what a way to wake up! the sound of my phone vibrating!!!! walauuuuu!!!! *rah*

i have decided. i am NOT gonna post anything that doesn't concern who it's supposed to concern. i shall post it in the other blog. well, just to spruce it up what. lol. but yeahh. i've decided too many people are reading this blog. for example ISABELLE CHONG!! walau she good la. come and read, budden never tagg. *grrr* haha. yup. that's bout it for today. goodbye world.

2004-12-09T14:57:00.000+08:00

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing][Watch you smile while you are sleeping][While you're far away dreaming][I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever][Every moment spent with you is a moment][ I treasure
Don't want to close my eyes][I don't want to fall asleep
][Cause I'd miss you baby][And I don't want to miss a thing][Cause even when I dream of you][The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby][And I don't want to miss a thing][Lying close to you feeling your heart beating][And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing][Then I kiss your eyes][And thank God we're together][I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
Don't want to close my eyes][I don't want to fall asleep][Cause I'd miss you baby][And I don't want to miss a thing][Cause even when I dream of you][The sweetest dream will never do][I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing][I don't want to miss one smile][I don't want to miss one kissI just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this][I just want to hold you close][Feel your heart so close to mine][And just stay here in this moment][For all the rest of time
Don't want to close my eyes][I don't want to fall asleep][Cause I'd miss you baby][And I don't want to miss a thing][Cause even when I dream of you][The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you baby][And I don't want to miss a thing][Don't want to close my eyes][I don't want to fall asleep][I don't want to miss a thing

someone tell me who these lyrics are for.. *bleah*

(btw sly sang this song!!!)

[[__//God knows i've tried but i can't let go.`--**]]

2004-12-09T11:20:00.000+08:00

i'm tired. really really tired. don't know what i'm feeling. i need to know. ayee.

went to see the gastro specialist again. aka the "crappy doctor". LOL. she craps so damn much can?? then hadta wait like 1h 20mins just to see her?? then she just gave me some stupid fibre drink.. hur. oh yeahh and she gave me another one mths supply of my medicine. though it doesn't help!! *beep* hahaha. ermmm the hadta make my next appt.. on 5th jan. ayee. good thing's that can skip bout 2hrs of school!!! *grins* but bad thing's that i hafta go alone. what the *beep*!!!! urgh..

went to eat lunch after that.. but this whole episode really drained me out le.. couldn't eat cos i had no appetite. my mom wanted to go shopping, but i was in no mood to. so headed home first. in the bus, i thought bout stuff.. all kinds of stuff. but i just couldn't sort things out. i feel like giving up, but i know i shouldn't.. not so easily.. haii. i'm really very tired.. tired of living.. tired of everything..

[[__+_i love you too much to make you stay. baby fly away.//**-`]]

2004-12-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

now i don't know if i made the right choice.. gilbert told me that even if i'm not sure.. i should just tell him. budden i dowan to hurt him. i know he'll be hurt. i don't know why, but the feeling's just not right. sure, i've had that feeling before.. but w him? i'm not sure what i'm feeling now.. haii. maybe later or smth i'll think bout it. but till then, i think i'll put off my meeting w him tmr. i don't feel like going le. i need time to think things through. hope things will be positive.. ))":

2004-12-07T10:33:00.000+08:00

hellos world!!! i'm happy today!!! ((: yup. hmmm i made a big decision yesterday.. don't know if it's the right decision though. but i'm sure as long as we trust each other, things should be okay. i know my baby loves me. i love [you] too. i just hope everything works out.. i really want things to work out between the both of us, cos i somehow feel there's some kind of affinity.. hope my baby's happy with my answer.. after yesterday, i finally felt how it was to really be loved. i haven't felt that way in a longgg time man. (: haii. love's so complicated. anyhows. i can't wait to see my baby later!!! miss ~~him~~ [you] like crazy man. hahaha. haven't seen [you] in ages.. yup. lol.

[[--*i searched and searched.. and finally found you.__`]]

2004-12-06T15:20:00.000+08:00

i WILL get over [you].

i AM getting over [you].

i HAVE gotten over [you].

it's not the same [you] anymore.

from now on, the [you] i mention on my blog will be a different person.

totally.

i mean it.

2004-12-06T11:15:00.000+08:00

fuck. i just read smth that i don't want to read. from friendster. it's a testimonial. k i'm not giving anymore away. budden. i don't know what kinda fucking feelings came over me. but the tears just flowed. anyhows, FUCK. i don't need sympathy. and esp esp not from [you]. it does pain me whenever i treat [you] that way. i don't like it alrights!! but that's the only way to save myself from falling deeper. what the fuck am i thinking man??!! how the hell did i like [you]??? fuck it. why am i pretending to be happy for [you] when my heart is shattering inside me?!?! i know i shouldn't ruin the happy stuff that's come over [you] so far. i know [you] found happiness. but I'M not happy. why should I pretend that I am?? probably cos i don't wanna show [you] what i really feel. maybe i'm just trying to hide my feelings for [you]. i don't want to read that testimonial again. but i hafta read it. that fucking testimonial is so fucking impt to me!!! i'm thinking: why did [you] hafta write that??!! [you] don't know how much tears that testimonial caused me. oh no. [you]'ll never know. [you]'re too lost in [your] happiness. i'm trying hard to control myself, to tell myself that i don't like [you]. i mean, [you] have someone else. why the fuck should i be jealous over HER?? [you]'re not THAT great. go sink in [your] happiness. i don't fucking care anymore. i'm gonna try getting over [you]. i'm not gonna sit here and see my life fading away. i've tried giving up, i really did. but fuck it. i can't!! i'm not gonna hide anything. i'm jealous. jealous over HER. jealous that she has [you]. jealous that she doesn't treasure [you] as much as i do. jealous that i'm NOTHING to [you], compared to her. i'm jealous, alright. fuck it. fuck the world. i love [you].

**__i can't save myself from falling deeper and deeper.//

2004-12-03T15:13:00.000+08:00

i'm backkk!!! anyone missed me?? haha.

sydney was great fun. the first day when we arrived at 6+am, the weather was freezing. bout 15-19 degrees? yup. then the next few days only a bit cold. after that, the next two days were hotttttt. but the weather's not humid like s/pore, just really hot. so you don't really sweat. visited Paddy's Market when we arrived cos we couldn't check in to the hotel yet. shopped a little, but all of us were really tired from the plane journey. so we went back to the hotel and slept for a few hours after lunch.

we visited the blue mountains too. but till now, i still don't understand why they call it the blue mountains. something bout the trees i guess. but it's still like a normal mountain to me. haha. hmmm then we got lost on the mountain cos it was wayyyy too big. so we took a skytrain. cool. haha. we spent the whole day there. oh yes. we ate steak everyday. haha. cos it's like australia, hello?? haha.

we visited the Hunter Valley too. it's a wine tasting place about 2-3 hrs of bus ride from the city. we visited a few wineries. i'm not supposed to taste it, but who cares?!?! bahahaha. my dad bought a few bottles of wine. there was a new zealand couple and another couple from macaw on the tour with us too. the nz couple bought, like, more than 12 bottles of wine..?? lol. we went to the cheese company too, but that was pretty boring. after that we visited the chocolate factory..!!!! hee. my paradise. =pP the chocos there are like superrrr exxx. but i bought a few packs. one for jason. (: then on the way back to the hotel, we went to see kangaroos!!!!! whoohoo. cuuuuteeeee!!!!!!! hahaha. the tour guide/driver said to me and my sisters," do you girls wanna see the kangaroos hop??" then he got out of the bus and put two fingers in his mouth and whistled the super high pitched whistle. the kangaroo heard and got scared so it hopped away damn fast. soooo cuteeee!!! lol.

we also went to two beaches: Bondi Beach and Manly Beach. went suntanning!!!!!! haha. but it's not enough cos i don't think i suntanned enough. my eldest sis suntanned in her bikini, second sis in her bra and me in my sports bra!! heh. but the sun was shining brightly so we left early cos of a fear of heatstroke. wahaha.

tried to go shopping, but couldn't in the end. cos the stuff there are like almost 2 times more expensive than s/pore!! wth!! haha. but i bought a new wallet! so happy! billabong one leh! i've been wanting that wallet for a million yrs lor. it was 20cents cheaper than s/pore. haha. but shit. i just found out that it's the same wallet as cheryl!! dammit. they're gonna start talking again. fuck all of you. i don't like her alright. she was just infatuation. I-N-F-A-T-U-A-T-I-O-N. i just like that wallet. it has nothing to do with HER man. arghh. it was the same with the school shoes man! wtf!

anyways. the flies there are damn irritating! EVRYWHERE you go, there're flies man! they stick to your face like shit. wonder how people can survive there. when we reached s/pore, i felt so relieved w/o the flies clinging onto my face anymore. haha. i was ~~really~~ homesick. nah, a little only la. lol. missed eveyone here!! haha. missed tkd!! yup.

oh yeah. there're LOADS of shuai guys there man. think i'm gonna migrate there to get married. hahaha. kidding. i love s/pore as it is. *grins* i took a ferry from the harbour to the Manly Beach. on the ferry back, there was this superrrrr cute guy sitting in the seat in front of us. but too bad. he was seasick. LOL. he didn't puke, but i could see he was pretty sick. poor guy. haha. his bro also very shuai. younger one la. but no-no. i don't like any of them.. haha. yep.

we went to see the sydney harbour bridge too. took lots of pics there. it's near the sydney opera house. the whole place is called the Darling Harbour. so if you stand in front of the Darling Harbour to take a photo, the scenery is beautiful.

we also went to a few supermarkets to shop. vegetables and fruits are cheap! on our last day before we got on the plane, we went to Paddy's Markets again. my dad bought two boxes of mangoes lor! crazy one he. my mom bought 3 HUGEE bottles of Evening Primrose Oil. yuckkk. lol. at the supermarkets we bought no frills chocos!!! mmm. we bought loads of it. chewing gums too. think i'm gonna give some to jimmy and the other instructors later. yup.

on the plane journey back, i was a little sick. don't know why also. think i'm allergic to British Airways. wahaha. luckily i didn't eat the second meal they provided, or i'd have puked. haha. so i watched sex and the city. bahahaha. while everyone was sleeping. it was damn funnaye! but got a lot of sex scenes. hehehehe. xPP my mom drank a whole bottle of red wine, and when we were landing, she started puking and puking. GROSSS. eewwwww!! haha.

hmmm that's all? i guess. it was funnn man, those few days. but now it's all over. haii. sian!! looking forward to tkd later! *grinswidely*

[[___**-i'm loving angels instead//``~]]

2004-11-24T17:16:00.000+08:00

hellos worldd. ayee. i'm leaving for sydney soon.. but, weirdly, i don't feel excited. why? hmmm. most probably cos [you]'re gonna be in s'pore bah.. haii. )"":

went to kkh today for my appointment with the gastro specialist. walau. she's damn crappy lor! talk cock only. then now, i hafta take my medicine even when i'm abroad!! wth!! superrr ma fan leh. she said that my stomach problem is due to some *blablabla* stuff.. yeah. haha.

then went walking ard tp.. saw chewy. then she suddenly come and hit me on the arm lor!! scared me to death. yup. my day has been really boring. actually the hols have been super boring. but i don't miss the studying. heh.

shoutouts

jason: oieee! i'll miss you la! haha. i'll buy smth back for you too. lol. talking to you on msn now.. xPP

isabelle: seesee.. i write the testimonial sooo long for you leh. haha. thank meee!! =pP

val: sorry haven't been updating yeah. but ain't i doing that now?? lol.

ye lun: YOU'RE CUTE! hurry thank me again. hahaha. kidding.

zhao wen: thanks for the testimonial ya.. (:

kelvin: happy birthday in advance!! take care!! i'll pass you your present next friday alrights? smiles!!!

corinne: ehhhh. we must stay over again leh. then we'll sing "welcome to my life" at the top of our voices.. *inside joke* hehehe!

that's all for now. take care peeps. goodbye world. (:

[[__*i want you`//---]]

2004-11-23T18:32:00.000+08:00

wow.. a lot of things have changed since i last blogged.. i'm now asking myself.. who is [you]..??? i need time to sort out my feelings.. haii.

i know i haven't blogged for ages. sorry peeps. was kinda busy though it's the school hols.

anyways. i passed my brown belt grading!!! everyone say "wow". haha. yeah i know. it's a wonder. now brown-black is like super super hard. don't know what 360 degree kick la.. aiyaaaa. hope i can pass. wanna get my poom belt soon so it'll be like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

really busy nowadays, so can't really blog a detailed post. i'll try to blog soon alrights? sorry to all those who frequent my blog. take care world.

[[i met indran at ikea that day..!!!!!!! //shivers// xPP]]

[[--//are you my prince charming??__*]]

2004-10-03T17:16:00.000+08:00

changed mye blog song. sorraye evil ! haha. and i ve gotta thank isabelle ! thanks isabelle ! haha. she helped me. (: so nice of her. oh man. she s gonna get ego-istic agn. but still must thank her la. haha. oh goshh. indran was online just now lor ! damn scary. haha.

shoutouts

isabelle: okay listen hard. i m saying this ONCE. thank you isabelle. haha.

nuttie: dont say i never write for you ar.. hay-farm ! lion head ! and.. whatever !! haha.

chen: happy right ? happy right ? two days in a row lehh ! haha. lucky you. good luck k ! jia you ! haha.

val: oie ! you dont come and flood mye tagboard ar ! haha. and spice up your blog la ! haha.

tessa: ayee. dont know what to write for you lehh. but if i dont write you ll say i never write for you.. haii. k la. uhh. good luck for EOY. haha.

[youu]: oh man. this is worse. i m dumbfounded. speechless. haii. i love [youu]. isnt that all that i can say ? haha. [youu] take care. talk ta [youu] soon. i m missing [youu]. (:

``*ta love and be lovedd is a blessing. treasure it.*--]]

2004-10-03T14:55:00.000+08:00

havent blogged for a long time. haii. exams are coming. wow. cant study.. too many things on mye mind. though he keeps making me. just cant study what..! wah lao. think i m dying lehh. ayeee.. hate the exams la. chinese sucks man. hate it. hate the subject AND the teacher. can things get worse ?? anyone heard the song "welcome to my life" by simple plan ? think it describes me perfectly. i m just too lazy to type the lyrics here. i m boredd. and i know i have ta start study. but i cant seem ta put mye mind into science and chinese and all those shit. oh well. i m doomed. that s it. i m gonna fail this year. someone save me.

ilovehim.buthedoesntreturnmyelove.whatthehell.dammit.

2004-08-29T16:34:00.000+08:00

yday had s-league finals.. damn fun !! whee` haha. got there at ard.. 3 ? with isabelle. then damn boring. so we played a game. ij against the nyp people. and so funny. cos me hannah and isabelle were in their team. the indian one was damn goood !! nobody wanted to be her defender. cos she keep intercepting the ball. haha. then the guy and that bung.. they were bballers, so always got caught for stepping. but they were like "what is stepping ??" haha ! so when calli went "bheep" then they just play on.. wahaha !!

then ate dnr. ate chicken rice. than vic burp damn loud la ! jamie and yvelyn also.. damn gross ! haha. then got down to work. me and hannah had to stick all those "school groups" thing on the benches.. so hannah said that we were the "skotchtape women".. haha. then we kept slacking and playing ard.. sticking skotchtape on each other ! haha. and hannah saw her SJC friends. after that we slacked a bit la. i saw dawn tay ! she damn good ! and saw chan hui chieh.. and tham wai yee.. they all damn pro. before the game started me and audrey hadta go to the entrance there and tell people,"excuse me, could you please enter by the other entrance ?" then got some people suuuper rude ! just roll their eyes or walk away.. no manners. haha ! somemore we so polite lor ! haha. then audrey ! she saw HER ! then she was like "eh look, that s your tk umpire.." and i was like "omg!!!!!!!!!!!" haha. then found out where she was sitting. so we also wanna watch the match so we bluff that mr james ong that we are cheer people. then he let us go and sit at the stands to cheer. so we went ari there la. ari was with her dad. and behind ari was HER !! so happy got to sit in fronta her. (((:

then i was supporting m/sia. but s/pore won la. haha. and during prize presentation.. i was standing at the steps.. she was upstairs taking fotos. then i kept staring up at her. got one time she looked down.. and caught me staring at her !!! damn maluuuuuu ! haha. think she knows already. but nvm. (:

bitchhh: ooo. you say that people use vulgarities cos they dont have anything else to say. yeah. i agree. cos the those are the only words i can find to describe you ! "fucking bitch !" wahaha. kena bang ! mwahahahaha !!!

2004-08-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

warning !!

ihateher.ihateher.ihateher.

.:get out. right now. its the end of you and me.:.

fucking bitch. i hate her la. suchh a bitchh. always so full of herself.. and always attracting attention. all that sucking up and all. like what the fuck is her damned problem ?? fuck off you bitchh. just get outta mye life la. i hate you can ?! think you know who you are. but im too nice to mention names. i just hate that fucking bitch.

bitch. bitch. bitch. bitch. fuck you.

2004-08-23T15:18:00.000+08:00

life these days have been quite sucky la. hmmm.. rachel goh and i have become a lil` closer ? cos of the carnival i guess. kinda brought us closer. she s been a really great friend la. super clever too. she can like really listen.. then when you re joking with her.. that s the best lor ! and her nball skills are like freaking good too. if next year she gets promoted to school team.. i ll be damn upset ! )* i love her loadsss ! hey you lil` monkaye ? you reading this ? takkairee yes ? and dont think too muchh about horsie.. cos she won ! ((: love yer ! *smiles-
but. things btw me and ena these days.. //= bleahh. i heard from someone that she hates me. well, cant blame her la. i mean. ive been sucha bitch to her these days.. and i know it. dont know why. PMS-ing ? cant be la. *shrugs- ive been getting very irritated with her over the pettiest matter.. then we start quarelling. ): i wont blame her if she doesnt wanna forgive me la.
mye studies are just as bad la. mye dad said that if i do badly this year.. i ll have to quit nball. i ll die can ?? trying to put in a lot of effort.. but just cant concentrate. the thoughts in mye head just totally shut out mye will to study. sucks la. from now on.. im gonna try hard to study !! even if i cant concentrate, i ll try ! im sure i can do it !!
chens dearest.. ma bestie-est bestie cant handle her own probs too.. see her acting tough.. but i can tell that she s strapped by her own probs.. poor girl. she shouldnt be burdened with all this shit ! we re in the same boat i guess.. ive told her many times to try to let go.. she just wont listen to me. but i know how she feels la. its not easy. so no matter what. chens ! i ll always be behind you yeah ? yer takkaire ! i love you ! (:

2004-08-23T15:13:00.000+08:00

school today was malu and happy ! cos i got full marks for mye maths ca ! for the first time ! whee`. haha. then for lit.. i got 17 for mye ca ! band c lehh ! i improved so much ! then ms chye.. she asked me if i studied.. then i wasdamn scared.. was like.. ermmm. ermmm. haha. then she said "but you did quite well" or something.. i was damn happy la ! then couldnt hear what she said already cos i was like jumping up and down.. then at the toilet i was still jumping cos i was damn happy.. somemore the whole class cheered for me lor ! lagi malu ! but thanks everyone ! ((: so happy. ~~ena.. hope you re okay.. its not the end of the world.. dont worry la. you ll still be in bball one. just try harder next time yes ? (:~~

2004-08-22T19:33:00.000+08:00

SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVES ISABELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! MWAHAHA ((:

2004-08-19T15:06:00.000+08:00

oh goshh. i just realised. im sooo clever !! i collaborated two blogs to form one blog ! clever right ?? i know. hahaha ! today during science.. champion was so disgusting ! she actually showed us where her crotch was ?? like. eew. who wants to know ?! then came home with chen xi la. fell asleep during lit though. hehe.
yday had the nball farewell partaye for sec 4s. it was damn fun can ?? i was on a diet. but ended up sharing a chicken wing with simmone [spell ?]. she ate the skin. i ate the meat. (x we also played some supposed bball. audrey was damn rough and everyone was kinda fighting for the ball so i dont think you can really call it bball. (:
after that stayed back with mary-anne, calli, yvelyn and jamie to watch the danceamania prac. i already bought tix to watch. (: we ended up watching the trampoling girls jumpjumpjump. *boing- haha. so scary la they jump !! /= then went shooting at the courts. i kept trying to shoot a distance away from the pole, and after a million time [according to all of them].. i finally shot it in !!! so pro right. =D then walked to interchange with all of them. jamie was damn gross la ! feeling for mary-anne s boobs ?? //= haha. and she said something like"no la, mary s not flat cos i touched the center." yuckk !!! and calli was on this crazy laughing fit. *rolls eyes- had so muchh fun yday !! whee` (:

2004-08-16T16:20:00.000+08:00

omg. the carnival yday was.. scary. it was like.. freaky. haha. i played really badly. like i totally sucked la. i just screwed up. a lot of times i could have defended the ball but i didnt. i feel as if ive let all the netballers there down. they all played so well.. and i screwed it up for them. but seriously.. everyone tried their best la. but i know i didnt give mye best yday. wasnt really concentrating ? yupp. really regret it now. i think i was too complacent. ):

anyway. audrey shot really well !! haha. jamie and mel too. mary-anne and jasper also defended well.. and the midfielders.. rachel, yvelyn, shun li, li ling, meryl.. and all.. everyone played well la. (: and i am so burnt !!! so pain ! but i grew tan-ner. so im quite happy after all. :p

school today sucked la. had lit ca. i didnt even study ! hope i ~~dont fail~~ pass. *prays hard- and all the netballers were like so black today ! like the pink monkaye.. jasper.. hahaha ! and mel.. her face was like.. red !!! haha. and audrey had that plaster mark.. wahaha !! had nominations for prefects today.. sarah got the most votes.. like duh.. ;)

some shout outs..
chens: hope yer fine yeah.. get well soon !
isabelle: i know mye tan rocks right ?? hehe !
audrey: you get well soon too ! takecares ! and.. ahem. remember our.. secret ! hahaha !
cara: mye dvd la you !! hmphh.
ena: im so sorry im so sorry im so sorry ena..! /=

and here s a lil` message for you*.. [if you ever read it la.]
guess what ?? im trying to let go of you* ! happy ? well, ive been seeing you* less nowadays and.. i miss you*. but. as i said. im trying to let go of you* and i will ! but for now.. i havent succeeded in doing that yet. so for now.. i still love you*.

2004-08-10T18:48:00.000+08:00

i changed the blogskin. again. but i think this will stay for some time cos i kinda like this skin. very cute. oh ya. that day went with isabelle, cara and corinne to watch the wilber and shan wei coolplay concert. me and corinne were screaming our ~~heads off~~ lungs out !! so fun !

and that ~~eediot~~ wilber ! go and give that stoopid ugly fan club girl a necklace ! amd he kissed her !! so unfair lor ! then shan wei also.. go and hug this girl called katherine[spell ?]] from his fan club and gave her this huuuugeee monkaye that i want ! so jealous ! hmphh ! all of us were screaming cos we were so pissed.

so fun lor, that day ! and cara MUST remember to bring the wilber cd tmr ! the songs inside got sentimental value to me one !!

i ll blog again soon. (:

2004-08-03T15:36:00.000+08:00

hmmmm. quickie update now. i know i havent blogged for ages.. |x school has been alright i guess.. quite boring nowadays.. life is boringg.. i need entertainment la!! haha. going home with toad nowadays. yday went to take neos with cara and chens. gosh! it was so damn fun!! but bad for mye wallet. /= hahaha! oh yes. went out with toad on friday. she bought me these pair of earrings which were damn niceee!!! then she bought me mye belatedd bday present which was quite ex.. oops. (x then she bought me a new pen too! hahaha! thanks ~~so much~~ loadsss toad!! if you even read this la.. ((: yupp. that s about it. i guess. will try to update real soon though. (:

2004-07-14T13:43:00.000+08:00

whao... using the comp during ~~lesson~~ mye free time now... actually during home ec la, but since i alr finish mye work... isabelle is beside me now... and so is audrey. sighh. dont feel like going for trng ltr. first time i dont feel like going for trng lor!! quite sian la,tdy... feel like ponning trng. but... nvm la. promise clarissa alr so must go la. wah lao. and ~~stoopid~~ stefany!! keep on pressing '3' while im writing... eediot!! hahahh. then just nw she splash water on me in the toilet... kena scolding from mrs tan!! HAHAHH!! no la... just kiddin... stefany ar... damn funny la... always joking one... ((: kkk. better kayy off now... skarly mrs tan come ar...

oh btw... ~~lame~~ isabelle says hi!!! ya... everyone say... 'whatever isabelle!

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-07-04T17:36:00.000+08:00

im thinking of changing the blogskin. *shrugs.

went for the arts fest yday. whoa. me and chen just walked ard the whole place a million times?? hahahh. then looked for val. cudnt find her lor! cos we were supposed to meet her at the entrance but when she arrived me and chen were at raffles place with audrey looking for a candy shop. hahahh. and cos chen and i wanted to see how darren looked like. ((: then went back to chijmes, looked for val and finally found her. then walked somemore... we were deciding if we shud go to town cos it was like damn boring... then saw huda. then we decided to go to town. went heeren. took neos. wah lao. those people queuing in front of us had like, seven people?? lols. then val scared us by saying that it was raining and chen and i panicked like hell...! then found out wasnt even raining?!! wah lao. went back to chijmes. val went home. walked ard somemore. saw isabelle. aftr that, chen called her mum to come fetch us. while waiting for her mum, chen saw her charsiewbun so many times lor!! hahahh. then everytime she wud avoid her charsiewbun... ((x she actually wanted to see her charsiewbun one last time before her mum came, but too bad. her mum came too early. then she fetched me home la.
aftr that, went with mye family for dnr. went to queenstown to eat... then went to ikea. saw mye uncle there. wah lao. my sis bought this cd rack which was like so longg?! we had to put it on our laps when we were in the car lor!!! i was so pissed.

fri: went to skewl for half day. cos i was like dying?! i had stomachache... and everyone thought i was trying to pon skewl?? like wth manns. sat at the porch there like a stoopid dying eediot waiting for my dad cos he took SO long to come?! went to the doctors. got a jab. ow. but i still went for tkd aftr that. hahahh. cos i was feeling quite okayyy alr. tkd was damn fun lor! but mye pattern sucked la. bleahh. /= and karen, grace and i were talking about all the guys there and we thought we got donovan so pissed. lols. so stoopid la! everyone was saying donovan liked me???!!! wth??!!hahahh. grace and karen said they heard kian how telling donovan to go aftr me if he liked me. and i was like 'wth!! dont anyhow say la!!' then aftr tkd donovan asked me if i had friendster. then he asked me to add him. i just did. ((: no harm whut. hes quite goodlooking anyways. omg. i shudnt have said that. he wud get soooooo ego if he heard it manns. (((:

yeah. signing off for now. [[i miss bangkok!!!]]

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-06-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

if youu guys are wondering how i managed to post the last post when i wuz supposed to be at bangkok... im at the airport now, using the internet. free internet access whut. yerpp. my flight is at 11+ so ive still got loads of time before i board the plane. yupp. kkk, im gonna keyy off now. blog more when im backk yes.? ((:

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-06-23T21:41:00.000+08:00

am i reallyy not good enough fer you*? or are you* just feeling-less towards me?? i thinkk i know the answer vehh well. i know i should backk off and just leave you* alone, but no. you* dont know how hard it is to let go when youve* hold on fer so longg. but ill try. very hard.

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-06-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

hmmms. this is the last time ill be blogging before i leave. which wud be tmr. whoa. i reallyy cant wait lehh. i love the smell of hotels la. damn nice smell. the last time i went on holidayy wuz... ermmms... december hols last yr?? yeah. showed anna my familys photo on msn just now. hahahh. i looked so preetaye. that wuz taken on my mums bday dnr tht time. and yday? i went to hotel phoenix to have our belated fathers day dnr. wuz a buffet. and i ate till... i wuz nearly dyingg.!yupp. but wuz vehh nice la. enjoyed muhself. oh wells. i reallyy cant wait fer tmr.

im tryingg hard to let go.

i cant wait fer tmr!!! ((x

2004-06-21T14:24:00.000+08:00

love is one big illusion that i should try to ferget...

[[you were my everything, everything
that i wanted
and we were meant to be, supposed to be
but we lost it
all my memories so close to me
just fade away
all the time you were pretending
so much for my happy ending]]

to those who smsed me or tried calling me yday... im sry i didnt reply to your smses. wuz karaoke-ing yday and didnt wanna reply to all the smses. so sry. sang some reallyy kewl songs... and my family? we rocked the whole house down manns!! we sang 'she bangs' and we practically screamed our lungs out! it wuz so funn manns!! the day before, my mum went fer her facial at wheelock place, and my sis and i had nothing to do so we decided to walk all ard town. saw some people there. then my sis went to bits and pieces and pierced her millionth earhole. then we went to heeren. pierced my ear there too. wuznt that painful la. but aftr tht it wuz a lil numb. ((x ltr ill be going to have a belated fathers day dnr with my family. then ill be leaving fer bangkok on wed!!! so happyy manns. im gonna shop like hell!! nat,dont worry. ill get your bday present yeah. (: and ill be back on my bday which wud be the last day of skewl hols. oh wow. ive got loads to do... packing up and all... oh wells. at least ill be rewarded with all the shopping ill be doing there! gosh. i cant wait. ((:

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-06-19T15:15:00.000+08:00

woww.i havent been here in ages manns.lols.oh wells.

REWIND BACK TO 7TH JUNE,MONDAYY!!!!!!

okayyy.know why im so keen on blogging about diz day??cuz im still vehh pissed.kkk,wait.lemme start from da beginning yeah.had da jolin tv recording today.wuz supposed to wait fer isabelle at the bus-stop aftr her trng.then i reached the bus-stop at like,6.20?smsed her and told her to faster faster run.aftr i sent that sms,i saw this person running funny-ly.so i wuz like,hahahhs.that HAS to be isabelle la.and aftr she read da sms,she looked opposite and wuz kinda luffing?!cudnt reallyy see.then as she came,162 came.so i wuz thinking okok.162 is here.might as well take that bus la. so i waved my hand and da bus stopped just as isabelle came.as we were boarding da bus, isabelle wuz like panting panting.and she said coach let them off at 6.18.so i wuz like, if coach let youu off at 6.18,how izzit possible fer youu to get changed so fast and run dwn da hill so fast?? hahahahhs.alighted da bus aftr one stop.and i told isabelle tht to walk from here into mediacorp reception is a longggg way.then i told her tht it wuz damn late alr so we shud like brisk walk in.and she kept complaining she wuz tired,so kind me offered to help her take her shoe bag. ((x while we were almost-walking-almost-running in,we saw a doggg!!!cuz there is like all the terraces and all tht whut.then da dog kept barking.so i wuz like,eh isabelle.look theres a dog lehhs. and she screamed!!like damn loud la!and i wuz like luffing and luffing.then dont know why she keep pulling her skirt dwn?!and i wuz like,isabelle!!can youu just stop pullingg your skirt dwn??lols.halfway,mye mum called and said,oi!where are yawl ar?do youu know tht everyones [everyone referred to mye mum,mye cousins and their friends.] waiting fer yawl here?? and i wuz like,ya.ok.we are almost halfway in alr la.
so aftr tht call isabelle and i brisk walked even faster.hahhs.reached da reception.isabelle and i were like finally!!the queue wuz like so longgg??!so we climbed the stairs,taking two steps at a time la.isabelle followed and she kept telling me not to walk so fast.she saw her friend halfway in the queue.went to reception there and saw mye cousins and their friends all waiting fer us.we felt so pai-seh.mye mum brought us into the tv theatre.and we sat at the reserved seats la.not long ltr,mye mum brought her boss daughter and her friends in also.mye boss daughter sat nxt to isabelle.so we started talking.and then isabelle wuz like,eh.whuts her name ar.?and i shrugged.then isabelle wuz like,huh.?you talk to her but dont know her name??hahahhs.aftr tht four other people came to sit nxt to me.not long ltr,da crowd came in.all of them like rushedd in?!to get da best seats??so kiasu.typical sporeans.luckily mye mum works at mediacorp and cud bring us into da theatre longg before the crowd queueing up gets to go in. ((: isabelle spotted her friend.then when da recording wuz about to start,the four girls sitting nxt to me left their bags on the seat and went outta da theatre.so da stage manager wuz like,who is sitting there?and i said,ermms,the four girls who were sitting there left the theatre.
and she said,nvm,yawl put da bags on da floor and sit on da seats...and isabelle and i were like,huh.?cannot la.
then she just kept asking us to move so we moved reluctantly.aftr we moved she gave the 6 seats tht me,isabelle,mye mums boss daughter and her friends were sitting on to 6 other people.then a few mins ltr,the show still havent start la.da girls came back and were like sooo surprised to see us sitting at their places.so we told them tht the stage manager asked us to sit here.then two eeritating eeeediotic women came and lean so close to isabelle and me and they kept saying,sry,yawl cannot sit here!
and one of them smokes so her breath smelt of cigar and isabelle and i were like disgustedd and pissedd but we refused to get up.then they forced us to get up??like kinda pushed us outta da seats?!so mye mums boss daughter told da woman tht our seats were also reserved one.but all da woman kept saying wuz,please get up ar.these seats are reserved fer GROUP CEO’S DAUGHTER.
and isabelle and i were damn malu-ated lor!!then mye mums boss daughter politely told da 6 people who were sitting on our seats to go back.we sat back our seats.isabelle and i thought tht those two women were like damn rude!!they dont know how to say politely one izzit??summore malu-ated us until liddat.arghh.then one of da girls not happy.so she call her GROUP CEO MOTHER to complain.like wth lor!it wuznt our fault??
and le yao wuz sitting on da same row as us with her ang moh bf.and isabelle wuz like SO excitedd?like she nvr see le yao before la.and finallyyyyy.the show started.throughout,before and aftr da show i kept pointing out cameramen,stage managers,and the crew who were gay.like we are all watching and watching and then suddenly ill go,eh.isabelle.look.tht cameramen sure gay one. or,eh.look.tht guy sure gay one.
wahahahhs.damn fun.then isabelle kept saying,eh.look.thats your gay person.lols.or sometimes she will just go,can youu shut up with your gay-ness???wahahahhs.even mye mums boss daughter were staring at us as if we were crazee. and this person who,most of da time,gives da water to jolin?isabelle and i were trying to figure out if she were jolins manager.and da first time i saw her,i kept saying,ehhh!!she reallyy looks like ****** lehhs!![sry cannot wryte out da name la.skarli ****** read this. ((x]and isabelle kept asking me who ****** wuz.and I said,aiyah,i show youu nxt time la…
but serious lor!she reallyyy look like ******!!!and tht stoopidd eediot girl who called her GROUP CEO MOTHER to complain?she got caught by da stage manager fer using her camera.isabelle and i were so happyy.but da stoopid stage manager,only know how to tell her,dont know how to confiscate her camera!!so unfair.aftr da show,mye aunt gave isabelle a lift to the bus-stop.but she went all da way to shunfu there before she finally stopped isabelle at this bus-stop.and isabelle jaywalked.cuz there got no traffic light mahhs.yerpp.thts whut happened lor.im still pissed at tht stoopid girl.hmphh.oh wells.oi!isabelle!if youre reading this…if mye mum has summore tix ill ask youu alongg yeah.! ((:

*shaa is in lovee with da chinese translated songg //the taste of lemongrass// sung by jolin!!! (((x

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-06-08T14:22:00.000+08:00

say thxx to mi for dng e taggie N e links.n say thxx to ena for dng e template.haha.fair..?haha.
whoohootoot!!!!!!! x)

isabelle.

2004-06-06T16:27:00.000+08:00

this is an official shout out to isabelleee!!!!!!!

wahahahhs. okok... i dont haf muchh tym so i'll make it short yeah. isabelle...! thnxx fer dee tagboard and everything yeah? andd you're supposed to help me. so this is an advanced thanks ya...? thanks thanks thanks bel bel!!!!! hahahhs. kkk, gtg now yeah. love yer bel bel!!!!! +mwakks... ((x

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-06-06T15:36:00.000+08:00

FRI: tkd. that instructor jimmy ar... tsktsk. my sis fetched me there. and he spike his hair until... eew. and i told my sis 'he'z quite goodlooking huh?' and she wuz like '/= ugh...' so funnehh. (((: but he's quite goodlooking la. (x but nopes,im not in lovee wiht him. hahahhs.

THURS: went to watch the gala premiere[however you spell it] of 'the best bet'. wuz damnn funneh... vehh vulgar. almost everything wuz in hokkien? and i hardly understood anything. but reading the subtitles. i wuz luffing alongg with everyone else in the theatre. wahahahhs. yer ppl shud watch it manns. if you understand hokkien. ((x

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-05-30T16:10:00.000+08:00

whut happenedd in the past week...

SAT:went to s'pore expo wif parents fer the food and consumer fair thingyy..ate and bought a lotta yummylicious foodd...

FRI:stoopid tkd poom belt sir...go and make me stand at the other side of the carpark and scream "permission to come back sir!!". shitte lor... only karen stood by me...thnxx karen!! (((:
had founders day mass... chen'z fav songg!lols. funn... but sadd... a lotta people were cryingg cuz it wuz cherre'z last dayy...i'll miss my dearez jie sooo muchh... boohoo. )':

WED:cross country!!!!!!ONE.ONE RAWKZ MY SOCKZ!!!!!we won!!!first!!!and we beat one.four by eleven points!!!!!yayy!!!!!one.one rawkz!!!!good work ppl!! lovee yawl!!!!! esp my dearez jie and tour guide... mel mel!!!!! she stood by us all the while in the hot sun while we were playingg dee games... lovee yaa jie! (((:

TUE:general leadership prog.ran all ard orchard like madd eediots.went to ena'z hse to get things too.uncleskybaba went there to shit!!!!!lols.but he wuz nicee...and helped us alot!!!!thnxx uncleskybaba!!!!!!

yupyupp. that'z all.

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-05-30T14:50:00.000+08:00

what my heart wants to say

Youre amazing,so amazing
Have I told you enough?
Youre an angel,my guardian angel
God knows I, Ive been blessed with love

But if Id be gone tomorrow
Would you know how deep my love goes?
Have I ever told you, youre the one?

Chorus:
If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know, I hope it still shows
If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know what my heart wants to say

But if Id be gone tomorrow
Would you know how deep my love goes?
If I was gone forever, would you know how much I care?
That you make me feel like flying, that Im sailing on your ocean
That every time you look at me, you see it in my eyes

If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know, I hope it still shows
If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know, I hope it still shows
If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know what my heart wants to say
If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know, I hope it still shows
If the words dont come my way
I hope you still know, I hope it still shows
I hope you still know what my heart wants to say

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-05-23T15:20:00.000+08:00

examz are over!!!!! yayy! lols. but serious. it'z over. at least only the mid-yrz lar. (((: hmmms, lets see... post-exam activities? okayy lar. only okayy. yupp. the rollar-blading wuz damn funneh... (((: so far i haven't failed any subject. phew. hope i don't fail any other subject lar. oh wells, i seriously don't know whut to blog about cuz nothing much happened lar. yupyupp. heyy natasha, don't be too upset yar? i'll be her fer you anytime... (((:

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-04-28T14:21:00.000+08:00

"listen to my heart beat for you
telling you that i adore you
if you wanna know how much i feel inside"

by Gareth Gates...

he'z damn ugly cann... but he singz vehh well lar. today had home econs. had to sew this vehh cute pigg... it'z really damn cute lor!!!! but i pricked my finger... ouchh... only got a bit of blood but i made it look like such a bigg deal... hehhs. but it wuz really vehh pain lor! oh wells. maybe i just don't have the housewifey talent. (((: yuppers. hahahs. haiz. exams coming liaox. shitt lar. i don't even wanna study lor!!!!! fcuk it lar. oops, sry natasha! hahhs. oh yar, and isabelle, my pigg is cuter than yours lor! and it'z much muchh cuter. don't come compare... hahahahs. wells. anyways. gtg now... (((:

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-04-19T15:29:00.000+08:00

heyy. just came back from school. haiz. school sucked like shitt today. got scolded by ms chong fer not bringing my marhs homework... i just fergot lor... and ms indran just made a new rule, and that is we are not allowed to speak singlish in class, and if we do ,we'll have to pay 20 cents... like wtf lor... and if we repeat the offence three times we'll have to write a 1000-word essay about the advantages of speaking singlish... lame right? wah lao... i mean, who in her right mind won't speak singlish?? didn't really see you* today. haiz. really miss you*... today i mainly mixed with 1/1 peeps lar... yepps. not really the most interesting day... got a bit of teases today too... mainly from jazreel... (((: hahs. and tried to spike isabelle's hair today... veh fun lor!! but everyone keep saying not nice so isabelle keep flatening it again... heyy isabelle, if yer reading this, sry yar? i just found some entertainment in my life so play lor... and don't worry, i'll still give you the poster and article... lols. i'll bring tmr yar? ((((: hmms, boring life... be right back[that means tmr... (((((:]!!! hehs.

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-04-18T19:32:00.000+08:00

fergot to mention. may told me just now not to waste time on you* and she said sth like," trust me"... and i wuz like, yar, i know, a lotta ppl told me the same thing as you, but i told everybody the same thing... that i can't give up... bleahs. will try lar. cuz i'm talking to sheryl now and she also told me to give up... like, whut the hell... alrd tryin to but it doesn't seem to be working... haiz. anyways. lit project due tmr. haiz. so many things going out now, can't handle the situation. and people, don't blame me if i don't blog lately, cuz i need to study... at least try to... cuz ms shanthi said that if we fail any subjects or do badly we won't be able to play in another game that'z coming up... yupps. sry ppl... love you guyz kayy...? *mwaxxz..*

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-04-18T16:06:00.000+08:00

wow. i haven't been blogging for a bloody longg time... hehs. wells, i went to the netball finals that day... wuz super fun lor... and did something really embarrasing... felt really damnn meann lor... bleahs. can't believe how much i miss you*. haiz. wuz just talking to may on msn. and she told me something that got me so fcuked up. and too bad cuz i'm not about to post it here where the whole god damn world can read it. i mean, i still feel pretty fcuked up now... and i patched up with anastasia already. so proud of muhself cuz i made the first move. (: and everything'z supposed to be fine with my life now. i guess. there'z a veh idiotic bitch in my class[shan't name her] who doesn't wanna tell mw whut we haf to do for our project, and when it's time to hand it in, she'll just be all fcukin innocent and say that she isn't in my 'half' of the group. i mean, whut the hell lor1 a group is a group, but she goes and say that it is broken into half to split the project work... and she acts as if the whole fcukin world likes her when so many ppl het her like shitt. screw her mann... just realized mid-yrs are coming. omg, whut the fcuk. not planning to study. shitt. but i haf to, so whut'z the diff?! ohohoh!!! just remembered!!! my bday is coming!! yayy!! hehs. can't wait ferthat dayy... lols. wells, gtg now... bubbaye...

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-04-01T16:08:00.000+08:00

wells. sports day wuz funnn... lols. red house didn't win, but we did get in 2nd whut... green won. i admit, they were gooood... they have fast runners, and their cheerleading wuz gr8 too[read this, cherre??]... yupps. hahs. and you* were sitting behind me. stefany embarrassed me. haiz. she offered the chips to you* saying it wuz from me!! veh shit lor!! i wuz SO embarrassed.

im tryingg hard to let go.

2004-04-01T15:47:00.000+08:00

haiz. so sad. blog can't work. and i changed place again today. all cuz of indran. i'm askin myself. [shud i give up??] i'll decide against it. perseverance is the key to success. as long as i know i've tried my best, i believe it will happen. maybe one day, it will.

im tryingg hard to let go.